9

#3. Litmus Test

torso

It’s funny how guys grade girls on various physical attributes within the first few minutes of meeting them. If she passes this “test”, he’s all charming and flirty with her, but if she fails, it’s “Yes, may I help you, young lady?” time. Funny how they think we don’t have “tests” of our own (wink wink).

Take this girls’ day out; a bunch of us cooling off in the pool on a hot afternoon when a tall glass of water… sorry, a guy, walked in. So the word spreads and there we are, keeping an eye on his position without looking the least bit interested, waiting for the big unveil. So then out he comes and hops in the pool. By this time, there isn’t much pretence left as we all cluster in the shallow end, pinching each other, mouths agape. It’s unanimous. This guy scores about 12. Out of 10, that is.

He gets out of the water for a bit of sun and there he is in all his glory. Tall, but not spaghetti-like or anything, muscly in the right  proportions, lovely arms and legs and belly, cute lil’ shorts, interesting < ahem> past… Sigh. Wait though, there’s more; he smiles at a friend of his and we gasp collectively. He has the cutest dimples, with a shy, boyish smile in between them. This one graduated even before he sat for the exam, if you know what I mean. Long story short, he’s a gorgeous slice of MAN and we are fully appreciative.

The difference between boys and girls, though, is that while a hot bimbo is a dream come true to a guy, a hot daft guy equals a much older woman’s boy-toy. Nothing else. Yes, therein lay the only flaw with our Hot Hunk (HH, as we called him). He had so much between the armpits, even more visual delights between the top of his head and the soles of his feet…. Sadly, there wasn’t much between the ears. HH was a child trapped within the solid frame of a young Greek god’s body…

HH took a bit of a shine to me and to my despair, we seemed to bump into each other quite a lot at school. He looked terrible with his clothes on; it was ridiculous. I dreaded those meetings because I could never find anything to say to him. This man-child, hot enough to bake his own bread, dressed like a 45year old man, his little briefcase thingy not helping matters. Pawing shyly at my hand instead of acting like the confident MAN he should be.

Point is, it takes a whole lot more than visual aids to get a girl hooked. Our tests are much more practical and difficult to pass.

P.S. The visual aids help sha….

15

Love Trilogy (Part III)

24-09-2011

I stand here before you

 

All I ever owned

flung at your feet.

 

My eyes;

your private peepshow

into my soul.

 

Look at me, before you.

 

My present

tied up in you.

 

Life before you

never existed;

how could it have?

 

This is me, before you.

 

Stripped.

Stripped to the bone.

 

I will cut down

a forest with my bare hands

to build our home.

 

But you care fuck-all.

4

Love Trilogy (Part II)

Heart

Aug/Sept 2011

My skin crawls

my face falls

my heart shrinks;

You’re at it again.

 

Your voice unheard

your tales unread

the laughs unshared;

You’re at it again.

 

Shame floods my being

darkness veils my world

doubts storm my heart;

You’re at it again.

 

I beg and haggle

coax and seduce;

How could you

be at it again?!

 

The eyes have bled,

the heart has cried,

the soul has echoed…

Enough.

 

I am allergic to your sorry.