Waiting Around

07-08-2011

There they all are; a motley crew of hopefuls. Black suits everywhere, each and every one of them. The Weeds theme song comes to mind. I smile tightly, realizing that I stick out like a sore thumb in my grey suit with ruffly top underneath.

Think positively, I tell myself. Don’t see it as being odd, see it as being… different, unique, outstanding. You will rise above the common black and dare to be grey and ruffly. It is your destiny! You are the chosen one, Joy-san.

The skies turned grey at the moment of your birth. That was The Sign, warning all of your grey-suited foray into greatness decades later. You shall save the world in this strange outfit. You will battle all the…

But wait, what do I see?

A staff here, parading every contour in black pants and a bright red shirt. Why do people wear clothes at least two sizes too small? I ponder this conundrum as she yammers on through her little introductory speech. The piece of paper in her hand flutters mischievously to the floor and an almost morbid fascination envelopes me.

I catch myself with bated breath, waiting for the pants to rip loudly. Surely, they must! She crouches down to retrieve the errant sheet, gets back up and begins tugging at the too-tight shirt; front and back. No rip. Amazing. The plot thickens.

A few more minutes of floating in this sea of seemingly perfect blackness attunes my senses to the flaws that abound. That guy over there, for instance. His suit is actually two different shades of black; top and bottom, plus his pants are at least a size and a half too small, hanging way above his sh… omg! What shoes you have there, my friend. The better to play footie with, you say? I couldn’t agree more.

And you, slightly “mature”-looking man. That suit? Really? Wow, did your dad use it on his wedding day and hand it down to you? Awww, how sweet.

And you, lady! Tottering about in your too-high heels, the magnetic pull of all chairs, tables and people causing you to walk in a strange half-crouched, Tower of  Pisa-ish way. What on earth were you thinking?! At least I have on comfortable shoes.

Thus comforted, I reassure myself all over again and begin to experience the more normal feelings of acute nerves this situation calls for.

Aaah… let the show begin.

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