Territorialism: Peeing for Dogs, Slobbering for Women

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First off, this is just me being random and foolish (two things I’m great at, by the way), so ladies out there should NOT get their panties in a bunch. Speaking of, what does that mean, even???
Moving along.
Ladies, let’s be honest. You KNOW what’s wrong with your man, no matter how much you love him. So y’all know when you’re dating a guy who didn’t get lucky when looks were being handed out.
Backtracking a little bit, remember male dogs and their way of asserting themselves? It’s quite literally a pissing contest.
So the males jauntily stroll around their angwa (neighbourhood) and pee on everything that’s upright. Electric poles, trees, shrubbery, car tyres, rocks, unsuspecting human legs… you sha get the gist.

Now, they do this after carefully sniffing said cornerstones for the pee-scent of other dogs. Once the smell test has been passed, up goes one leg, out sprays their liquid affirmation of “manliness” and off they stroll, tails raised just a little bit higher than before…
You’re wondering what this one is rambling on about again, aren’t you? Calm down. Chill. Small sense is coming.
So I recently noticed that women do the same thing. Just not with pee, thank heavens. When a woman is with her man and for some reason feels threatened by the lady sitting across from them, she’ll send out “this is my turf” vibes, to prevent THOT from thinking dude is public property.
So the gehfren will snuggle up to him, press his arm into the valley of her boobs (you know that move), pick imaginary lint off his shirt and laugh extra hard at his (dry) jokes. She will rub his head, sit in his lap and lick his face while maintaining unblinking eye contact with the other woman.
When even this fails, she’ll make it known that she has “inside gist” with her man. For example;
– Babyyyy, is that rice still remaining at home?
– Honey, do you like that new bedsheet I bought? The one I spread after we had our bath? Together? At the same time? Two of us? Naked?
And so on, ad nauseum.
Now, all this is fine and good, as far as the boyfriend in question is hot and WANTABLE.
But, biko, if you know you’re with a DRAGON, don’t bother leaving your scent all over him o, we gerrit. We are confused as to what you see in him, but we dash him unto you; hook, line, and scratchy dragon scales.

P.S.
If you were expecting more sense and came away disappointed, feel free to contact the Management  of this blog.

P.P.S.
Speaking of licking of face… Never ending shout out to Lynxxx. I see you, bae 😉 :p
Just so y’all know, this picture of him has been my wallpaper for quite a while now. But I’m nice, so I’ll share.

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Yours,
@msmeddle

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