Virtually Yours


We “met” on 2go.
Yeah, of all places, I know. Well, that was about two and a half years ago. I am not sure which of the silly chat rooms we met in, but, meet we did anyway. Again, I’m not sure what made him stand out to me, but I instinctively treated him like a “real” person.
At first we would only say hello and make small talk, but the night I discovered that my boyfriend of about eleven months was only into me to get close to my friend, that night was the birth of our friendship.
I was heartbroken and sleep had sworn to avoid me at all costs even though I’d downed three mugs of warm milk and wanked in frustration a couple of times. I updated my status to “Can’t sleep…”, and just seconds later, he chatted me up. Now, the mix of heartbreak, sleeplessness, the fatigue of crying my heart out, and the exasperation of the unsatisfying wanks produced an unusual strain of honesty in me that night.
Miimee: why r u up?
Ssheyi: slept early, so I woke up again. U?
Miimee: got dumped, kinda, been crying n cant sleep
Ssheyi: ohh, honey 😦
Ssheyi: talk to me. I’m here.
Miimee: I’m so tired, jus wish I could sleep
Ssheyi: tried warm milk? Or counting sheep?
Miimee: gbogbo e.
Miimee: even touched mysef. Usually sends me to sleep, bt did nt work today
Ssheyi: let me tell u a bedtime story…
Ssheyi: its about a lovely, beautiful princess called Mimi…
I slept off at about 5am, slept the sleep of the undead and woke up around 3pm. Seyi was just so nice to me, I couldn’t  help but heal. He made sure to chat me with funny, yet caring messages several times each day.
When we realized how crap 2go is, we naturally migrated to whatsapp and took up from there. From whatsapp, we connected on Facebook, then Twitter, then Instagram. We talked about everything. It got to the point where we spoke on the phone at least once every single day. Neither of us wanted to define our relationship, or go on an actual date, so we just let it be. We each tried dating other people, but somehow, it never seemed to work out, so we’d end up chatting, yabbing those we’d gone out on dates with…
So here we are, 28 months down the line. Still “doing tins” without labels. This thought crosses my mind as we talk on the phone. I’m at Shoprite in Ikeja, waiting for my friend Tayo to come out of the loo. All of a sudden, the hairs on the nape of my neck stand at attention and my heart begins to race inexplicably. Seyi laughs inthe phone pressed against my ear, his all too familiar laugh, but I seem to hear it from behind me as well. Turning around in slo-mo, as though submerged in a huge tub of groundnut oil.
My heart jumps in my mouth; Seyi is right there! In the fraction of a second, my gaze roams lovingly over him, absorbing the idea of him in real life.
And then I flee into the Ladies.
I am not ready for us to meet.
I remain, virtually yours.

Yours (virtually),

Thanks for sticking it out with me for three years 😀 It’s been lovely. Mwah!


18 thoughts on “Virtually Yours

  1. Lovely, maybe you can try the physical which most likely won’t be too different from the virtual. I always love, I mean love your diction. Keep it coming…

  2. Just wondering what she was scared of, that wld hav been d beginning of defining d relationship, Wotefa na story. I want to mk a case for 2go, it opened up d world of chat to us and served us well so give it the respect it deserves.

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