I am in a bus headed for Asaba. There’s a skinny fair guy sitting next to me who’s been making small talk with the third person at the back, an elderly lady. I’ve come to realize that my girlfriend lied; Asaba is apparently further away than the four hours she promised, and it’s in no way going to be a smooth ride, if the present rough road is anything to go by.
I’m trying to sleep to eat up the kilometres, but there is really nowhere to rest my head. I glance towards my skinny neighbour and access his profile. Glasses, very little facial hair. I quite suddenly want to grab his head and kiss him. It’s not my fault. I love to kiss but this single life won’t let me prosper…
I quell my inner winsh that is still prompting me to do it, telling myself I am no longer that young, or that foolish. Someone recently guessed my age and guessed 32, I chide myself. This growing up business might as well take effect, since people think I’m 32 😦 Besides, he is not my spec physically: yellow and skinny are two things I do not look for in a man.
I fold up into my inner shell of weird thoughts and coax my longterm boyfriend, Sleep. Ooouhh, baby, you know you want to take me right here in this car and make me drool and snore… Yeeeahhh, do it.
My eyes are closed, and it seems to be working, when a particularly vicious jolt from a fresh constellation of potholes wakes me up again. Sighing for the umpteenth time, I turn to Skinny Glasses and say: Can I borrow your shoulder?
He: Well, yes… Though it’s not as fleshy as you’d like, and this road is really bad… But if you want, you can manage.
Me: groaning weirdly at yet another pothole
He: Yeah, this road is not good at all… Is this your first time?
Me: blushing deeply Yes.
Flash forward about a bumpy hour and a half later, and you’d never guess we were just meeting each other. He was a bit of a naughty one, with a great sense of humour and a likeable personality. He got down before me, reluctantly, with promises to keep in touch and a look that said he wished there were no eyes on us.
I smiled bravely, then looked down at his silver bracelet, now mine, and wondered why I only have chemistry with the men of other women.