I remember being with this guy and fighting about the same things over and over. My complaint was that it felt as though he had something to hide and his allegations were that I was paranoid and difficult. All that aside, though, we found a way to trundle along happily enough.
One night, however, my weird sleep pattern kicked in and I woke up in the middle of the night unable to go back to sleep. Ignoring his earlier hints about how tired he was and how fast he would fall asleep, I called him up so he could entertain me back to sleep – you know, the usual boyfriend stuff. So, anyway, I get the call waiting tone, but confidently keep the phone pressed to my ear, practicing my “I can’t sleep” line in a cute voice. He had assured me countlessly that he would always pick my calls; rain, sun or call waiting. He doesn’t pick up now, though, so I wait, thinking he only wants to round up with the poor sod on the other line and call me back.
Thirty minutes later, no call. Oh-kaay. I call again, still call waiting. Now my eyes are truly wide open with narry a trace of sleep to be found in my bloodstream. About an hour after the first call, with no call back or text, I call again to discover he’s still on the phone.
Now, the number 3 has always inspired some kind of awe in me, so I resolve not to call again. I do, however, feel desperately sad because I realize that the guy I have fallen for will not always make the effort to be there for me when I need him.
Sitting up in bed at 3:45am, exhausted after my efforts at sobbing my heart out as quietly as possible, I feel the abject loneliness reach out of the darkness and punch me in the chest. So I curled up in the foetal position (really comforting, this) and let the lonesomeness warm my body while the salt marks on my face began drying slowly.
* * *
On the one hand, a guy could long for a no-strings relationship, but freak out when he gets it. He believes himself to be in love with her after a time, wants her to fall desperately for him and is convinced there is something terribly wrong with her when she doesn’t.
On the other hand, a guy meets a girl, likes her and works really hard to get her to like him back. Then he abruptly ceases to make any more effort, safe in the knowledge that she is relatively trapped by her feelings for him.
The moral of the long, rambling story is; when striving to please the significant female in your life, it is the wooing after entrapment that truly, truly counts.