0

Dear BFF

The stereotype is that all married women have to watch their single friends for fear they’ll try to snatch their husbands. The belief is that us single girls are mortally envious of the “luck” our married friends have,  and will do anything to make that luck ours. 
In actual fact, mami, I’m the one pulling up tired excuses to avoid being around you and your darling hubby.  I always knew he was a wild one but he made you happy and i figured marriage would calm him down some.  Continue reading

Advertisements
0

Vaseline

I flash back quickly to that day.

We had gone on a road trip, and ended up in a little hotel in a quiet area, small city on the outskirts of a big town. The heat was doing our heads in and the constant airconditioning provided by the hotel was pure bliss. Nothing like vaseline, or body lotion of any kind had touched my skin in weeks. But of course, such skin-peace was ill-fated; soon I began to feel dried out, and it was embarassing going out because I had only packed short things but those short things showed off my white, scaly skin.

He woke me up one morning and asked if I wanted to come run errands with him. I said no, because 7am was an ungodly hour for me on holiday. So I slept, stretched languidly across the crisp white sheets, rolling cat-like from time to time, flirting with the idea of waking up, but never quite sealing the deal. Some minutes before 11 I decided I was ripe enough for a bath, and unhurriedly went about cleaning myself. When I was done, I made the bed because I could already hear him say, when he would eventually come back, “You can’t make bed?”  and I chuckled a little because I already knew  him that well. I settled in to watch Big Bang Theory, and was laughing softly when his call came in. How was I doing, what should he bring back to our lair for my breakfast, small talk. Looking down at my reptilian skin later, I texted him to buy me a little tub of vaseline, and even after I pleaded and he argued that he wouldn’t just randomly come across vaseline sellers where he was, we sort of left the topic open-ended.

I threatened him with the classic, “You think you are doing me, you are doing yourself because when we go out I’ll embarrass you with my whiteness” and I smiled as I typed that, because I wished we were in the same place so I could watch him laugh, and soak up the twinkle in his eyes until it passed…

He came back bearing food, which was great enough. Until he pulled out a tiny tub of vaseline. It was a brand I hated, but I really hadn’t expected him to buy any at all. I jumped up and down in excitement, pinned him to the wall and made kissy faces at him while he tried to push me off.

image

“Are you this cheap, you shoulda just told me all it took is vaseline. Jeez, I wouldn’t have wasted all this time and effort.”

I come back from my reverie and focus my gaze on the tub of vaseline. I’d thrown it in a seldomly used handbag, and there it was…

And I guess, really, I miss you.

Yours,
@MsMeddle

1

The Way You Chew

image

Frank rushed into Ola Mummy canteen in Bodija,  hungry as an abandoned baby elephant, and made his order of two wraps of pounded yam, fish and ewedu. So hungry was he that it wasn’t until he’d swallowed the first wrap that his eyes came down, and he could once again see like normal humans do. It was at this point he decided to slow down so he wouldn’t choke. He took his first sip from the 75cl Eva table water bottle the waitress with the blue Staff 24 tshirt had placed before him, and looked around for the first time whilst tenderly unwrapping the second half of his meal.
That was when he saw her. Continue reading

6

Birthday

laveudafrica.com

laveudafrica.com

It was her birthday, but she wasn’t excited about it.
Somehow, this neighbour of hers with whom she’d only recently begun talking had convinced her to go hang out with him. She guessed it was ok, he seemed funny and he’d definitely drop her off home since he lived a few houses down from her. She smiled sweetly as he pushed his head against hers for another selfie. They were currently in a club, after downing a few bottles each at a popular joint in the heart of town. He pulled her up when his song began to play, and she had to admit, his enthusiasm was infectious. They danced and sweated and drank and laughed until everything became a blur.


They left the club around 3.30am and drove back to the neighbourhood in relaxed, companionable silence. He stopped at his house and offered her some more beers from his personal warehouse. She went in with him. They sat on the couch drinking super-chilled bottles of Snapp, and making fun of the actors in the Nollywood flick on tv.
So where’s your wife sef, in all this, she asked finally. She’d scanned the walls and there was no sign of wedding photos or a wife anywhere.
Hmm, he said, taking a swig from his bottle. She could tell he was stalling, trying to decide whether or not to tell her the truth.
I have a girlfriend, but she’s not here… actually, our parents are hell-bent on marrying us off. There’ll be a family introduction soon.
Ah, that’s nice. She wasn’t surprised, everyone carried more baggage than the cargo hold of a commercial airplane these days.
They continued talking, the gist flowing easily between them. She looked towards him to catch what he’d just said, and suddenly his face was right there. They kissed and it was the most natural thing to have happened. She turned back to the TV, and it was a few minutes before they faced each other again and really kissed. A deep reconnoitre of a kiss that told her; he was a bad boy. He was a very experienced bad boy who had no shame and no regrets. He dragged the breath from her throat and busied his hands with her breasts. He guided her hand to his crotch and her eyes flicked open, a moan of appreciation escaping jaggedly from between her lips, losing itself inside his mouth. He stopped suddenly, laughed and sheepishly said, gosh I have to go pee.
The minute he got up, she drained her bottle, shook her head roughly and grabbed her keys from his centre table. She crept to his front door and let herself out, then set off at a fast trot to her flat.
She was trying to find the key for her screen door when she thought she heard someone coming. Shit! She hastened her search, fit the key in the lock and let herself in. She slammed and locked the door in the nick of time like the classic inappropriately dressed blonde in every horror movie ever.
She heard him walking around the side of the house.
Hey, what’s wrong, I went into the bathroom and you ran away?! What’s going on. His voice was soft and low, to avoid attracting attention from the neighbours.
Why did you leave?
The moonlight and security light from a neighbouring flat allowed her see him frowning at her in concern.
Because… she shrugged limply.
Ok, open the door.
No, I’m not opening this door!
Why!
Because if I do, we’re going to fuck.
She could see his breath catch in his throat, watched him swallow and scratch his head.
Well… so let’s fuck, then!
But you’re committed to someone. I can’t deal with all that.
She didn’t know if it was all that beer finally kicking in, or the effects of the full moon but she felt a familiar mood descend on her and she smiled, wickedly.
She stood directly in front of him, only the sturdy mosquito netting between them. Slowly, she pulled her dress off over her head, and flung it away.
Fuck! He was prowling around outside now, like a dog inches away from his lunch.
Come closer, he rasped, coming to a stop in front of her.
She unclasped her bra and dropped it on the floor, pushing her swollen breasts against the net. He stuck out his tongue and flicked it against her nipples. She pushed her head back and laughed at his very evident frustration. Are you still wearing your panties? He asked.
In answer, she stepped out of her panties, held them up for him to see, then let them drop to the floor. She stepped into a slice of moonlight so that he could see her naked.
Good night, she said, unlocking her front door.
Come back, he hissed. He wanted to yell but couldn’t, because it was late and he didn’t want to be mistaken for a thief or something.
So he stood there paralysed as she went into her house and locked the door behind her. He stood there a while, hoping she’d reappear and yell, sike!
No such luck.
He walked back to his house, glad there was ice in his fridge. He’d need an extra cold shower to survive till morning.

Yours,
@MsMeddle

1

Smitten

It’s hard sustaining a relationship these days. Especially as a woman who gets no appreciation for all her sacrifices.
Imagine me forfeiting my sleep (everybody knows I love my sleep) just so I could watch you sleep, and make sure you’re comfortable through the night. Remember that one time you forgot to leave your key under the fake rock by your door like you usually do, and I had to break the glass with my bare hand? One of those cuts needed three stitches, but I didn’t complain.
I never complain.

Continue reading

2

Ex

I decided to clean out an old box of my stuff, you know, burn what I don’t need and look for somewhere better to store the other things.
I found a little plastic bag of photographs, and promptly dropped my good intentions. I spent almost an hour sitting right in the middle of the rubble, giggling at how skinny I was in the photos, and remembering what led up to each of them. Then I saw some pictures of you.
Back when we were dating.
I think I froze for a short while, because… I don’t know, I just froze. And then I began to remember everything. Continue reading

10

Forever

Suddenly, Rachel felt extremely shy… It’s not like they hadn’t done this before, but this time it would be different, she just knew it. This time, it’d be more intimate, more of a promise, more forever. So she let the hotel bath robe fall to the floor, then slowly raised her eyes to meet his. Her breath caught in her throat because he was strikingly handsome in this moment. His boyish face filled with a kind of intent expectancy. Plus, the eager I-will-chop-you-raw look in his eyes right now made him so darn hot!
He raised a hand and casually, confidently waved his fingers, beckoning her closer. She took a few unsteady steps and came to a halt right in front of him. Ross was already ready, in every sense of the word. He was naked and damp from his shower, his D at half mast, in honour of the bountiful goodness of the land awaiting his pillaging. He reached up and cupped her left breast, moulding it gently in his palm, his thumb and forefinger rubbing on her nipple like it was a magic lamp. Her lips parted in acknowledgement of his ace move, her right arm reaching out to tweak his right nipple, the sensitive one. He pulled her down and kissed her on the lips, a kiss that wrought out a ragged moan from him. A kiss that took her years back, to that first breathless kiss all those years ago. Yet here they were, still eager, still knowing how this would end yet nervous nonetheless.

IMG_20150418_220339

Holding his gaze, she firmly pushed him back on the bed, then dropped to her knees between his legs. Her smile was one of wicked enjoyment when she saw the dewy drop of precum spilling out of him. Using only her eyes to touch him, she lowered her mouth fractionally until she swallowed him into her mouth. The groan he let out was tortured; pleasure, impatience, the need for more, and a desire to make this last. She wondered if it made her a sadist, the fact that she enjoyed toying with him this much. His next move was unexpected.
She had her eyes closed, and her tongue languidly stoking the length and width of him when he sat up, grabbed her by the waist, turned her around and lay back down. The implication was, while she continued molesting him orally, he could now do the same to her. It was an evil plan because now she couldn’t keep still and interrupted her ministrations frequently to scream out. She was almost sure she felt his lips against her lower lips, curling into a smile whenever she screamed.

images(5)
Rachel was soggy as a dish rag and quite frankly needed more, so she flipped around until she was straddling him and looking into his eyes. Those eyes that had done everything imaginable to her. Eyes that had stripped her naked, flashed with anger, crinkled with laughter, widened in appreciation, latched on in serious attention, rolled in exasperation and winked in a shared joke countless times. Those eyes closed momentarily now as she lowered her wetness around his thickness, sloooowly, until there was no more of him that wasn’t inside of her. He opened his eyes and chewed on his lower lip, his hands on her hips guiding her up and off, then pulling her sharply back onto him.
She rode him slowly, her body tilted back, eyes closed and hands cupping her breasts as she bounced up and down. He hugged her to himself, then rolled her over until he was on top and her legs were wrapped around his waist. He stroked her hair and caressed her face as he drove into her gently, whispering any and everything that came to mind. His heart rate quickened when her breathing became more and more ragged, then peaked in an uncultured shriek. Her body froze, eyes closed, mouth open, he felt the heat of the liquid coming out of her and he lost it then. He exchanged his gentle strokes for rough, hard, irregular ones, and soon he too had his eyes closed and animal growling mode on fleek.
He rolled onto his back to allow her rest on his chest, the light from the open bathroom glinting softly off their matching silver wedding rings.

images(7)

 

Yours,
@MsMeddle