1

Help, My Underwire is Trying to Kill Me & Other Tales of Womanhood

image

Pictorial representation of underwire

Let’s cut to the chase.
Bras are a huge deal for women, especially women who are a little chesty and can’t afford to go commando for fear of the ensuing awkward wobbling. Also, if you are the least bit sporty or lead an active lifestyle, those babies need to be caged, to stop them accidentally falling into someone’s soup or getting caught under your elbow when you lean over a desk…
We all know how it goes, average day at the office, droning through the chores of the day with an eye on the clock hanging on the far wall. Life is made up of similar days of drudgery and boredom from which you try to squeeze fun and laughter. You are engaged in a serious activity, explaining real grownup forms to a colleague, when you raise your arm and faaaaaacckkkk.
Your underwire has worked its way out its protective enclosure, and jabbed you right in the sensitive flesh of your underboob.
Continue reading

Advertisements
4

Peero’s Avi

Gail was thoroughly frustrated with this her so-called boyfriend. Dude was soooo annoying, wallahi. The guy seemed to wake up and dedicate his entire day to pissing her the hell off these days. What made it worse was that their families had already done an informal introduction and all that rubbish. This is what she would be stuck with all her life.
Was he always this irritating? She tried to cast her mind back to three weeks before, when all their relationship wahala seemed to have blossomed into a full-time vexing competition. Sadly, she was hard pressed to remember him as anything but an asshole. If he carried on this way, honestly, she would give it back to him fire for fire. This Jos wouldn’t be big enough for the two of them.
Funny enough, what were they even arguing about sef? Rubbish-rubbish things, ne fa! Right now, he was raising hell because he ‘’found out’’ that she had gone to visit her ex in the hospital. Err, who wouldn’t?! The poor guy was in that beer parlour that they blew up the other day!
Dude survived a friggin’ bomb blast! Why ever shouldn’t she go to see him and add to the growing pile of oranges by his hospital bed?
Continue reading

11

Confused…

To be honest, I haven’t been able to muster up enough courage or joy to post about the things I love.
Everyone is going on about the fuel subsidy removal and I feel lost and even more confused. Does no one else see? Is no one else bothered?
This country is a shambles and no one seems to mind.
What about all those who’ve been killed? All those who are still being killed? All those who will be killed if nothing is done asap??!
The fuel subsidy removal cannot affect Nigerians if they are dead.
Sigh.
Just thought to ask out loud.